My Sweaters

Hanging in my closet like starved skins of washed out souls
Stiff with lack of use and cold with sadness
My sweaters need me
To be complete

Come, oh winter
So I can save them from dust and grayness

Come, oh rain
So I can bundle up in them
And feel their soft fibers
Hugging and kissing me with thanksgiving

My sweaters are lonely
As am I

So darken the penetrating sun a bit, oh god
And let the leaves start to fall and be free
I need my sweaters
Just as much as they need me

My People

So on my way to school over the past few years, I have noticed the same people walking to work or lingering outside who I see almost everyday.  I don't think many people notice or even care about the people around them who they don't personally know.  I would just like to share with you a little bit about each character that I have seen for extended periods of time.  I don't see all of them anymore, but for some reason I deeply care for and identify with these people.

1. Cheek Flab - he is the one who started it all.  We realized that we often saw this thin man dressed in a suit walking to work and he had an insane amount of cheek flab.  Even though he was thin, his face just didn't slim down!  This guy is one of the most special characters I see.
2. Eclectic Woman - This lady is one of my favorites! We call her eclectic woman because she always dresses in a hodgepodge of different articles of clothing.  She often wears long skirts, bandeau tops, and big floppy sunhats.  She also has a specific gait that makes her easy to identify.  Think of a "walk like an Egyptian" type of style.
3. Bad Dye Job - I don't see her anymore, but bad dye job was an elderly woman who dyed her hair red.  Unfortunately, she just didn't understand the concept of root touch ups.  The top two inches of her head were a dull gross grey.  Despite this, she carried on with her life and exhibited normal behavior.
4. On Parole - this person is a young man who insists on walking his two pitbulls past my little sisters elementary school almost every fucking morning.  I could just imagine this guy just getting out of jail and adopting some pitbull puppies.  Another thing about him, is his facial structure even LOOKS like a pitbull, it's too funny.
5. Ziggy - I really like Ziggy, he reminds me of someone I could actually be friends with.  Ziggy works at a linen store.  A really sketchy looking linen store that is most likely a front for a drug smuggling operation.  He has spiky gelled up hair and this weird pervert mustache thing.  He stands outside the shop leaning against the wall every morning just chillin, taking to a friend.
6. Hoochie Mama - she always struts to work in these sexual outfits paired with a low cut top and enormous sky high heels.  Cracks me up, whatta whore

Those are my main friends I see in the morning.  I have around 5 more, but I'm too tired and lazy to write those down.  So even though these people are a lot different from each other, in my mind they are combined to form this wonderful imaginary circle of friends.  When I see one of them it just brightens my day that much more.  These are my people.

Freedom Is

Freedom is having 3 cocker spaniels all named Janet

Freedom is painting your nails with white-out because you don't give a fuck

Freedom is driving to KFC at 3 am because you have the munchies

Freedom is going out and buying a piñata just for personal use

Freedom is taking a little road trip to Delaware because you're feeling bored

Freedom is demanding to order off the kids menu just to get the free cookie that comes with it

Freedom is

The Small Stuff

Left Behind

With every laugh and smile

That you and I share

I know that someday

You will no longer be there

I love you more

Than you could ever know

But I always hold back

Because I will eventually be alone

The tears will start

And will not cease

Not after days, months, years

They'll only increase

The way you touch my life

And capture my heart

How will that continue

When we are apart?

Even though you are my baby

And I will always keep you in my mind

I am very aware of how hard it will be

To love you when I am left behind

Change

In class the other day we were asked what our dream was.  Just a big broad "What is your dream?"  I couldn't get it out of my head since then.  What is my dream?  What is it that I want to do more than anything?  Maybe you have an idea of what you love to do, or  maybe you are even more clueless than I am.  Either way, keep your mind open.

This time two years ago, I was a completely different person than who I am now.  You will grow and change so much that you may not even recognize the person you were before.  Right now I think I know what I want.  I want a really artsy hippie van that I will use to travel the world in.  Currently, that dream is all I think about.

However.

What if when the time comes of my road trip, I no longer have this burning desire?  Its all a bit scary to think about.  Change.  What a fucking pain in the ass sometimes.

What do you think about change?  Do you look forward to it?  Do you dread it?

Anyway, have a lovely day everyone :)

Nothing to See Here...

I think I want to just float away...
Yeah, the sky is a nice place to be...

Do you know how many times I wrote and rewrote the shit I decided to post on this fucking blog?
Too many times...

Why am I self-conscious when I'm not even a standout person? If I were really ugly or really fat or really dumb, I would have a right to be self conscious.  But nope.  I'm just lil old me.  What have I got to worry about?

You know those activities where you have to write 3 adjectives that describe you?  I can never think of one.

I just don't know how to be nice to people...is that bad?

Who is this Jesus figure and why do people say he cares about me?  Um, last time I checked you don't know him, so you can't speak for him.  Stop telling me I need religion in my life, who do you think you are?

Whats logic?  How can you call my actions "not logical?"  If it makes sense to me I guess it doesn't matter what you have to say at all.

If you think anything I do is out of love or compassion for you, you're most likely wrong.  Unbeknownst to most, I really don't fucking care.  Mostly, I can't even admit that to myself.  I think I care, but I'm really in it for some kind of personal gain.

Yup thats me.

Pit

SO this post is going to be more personal and specific, unlike the other poem blogs.
SO I have this friend who I can talk to about the MOST DEEP stuff ever, its amazing.  During sleepovers, we spend the night lying in bed rambling out thoughts about life, the universe, and everything (haha, to all those who don't read Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, I just made a joke :P) This girl is such a deep person whom I totally trust with all my backwards views about life after death and our purpose on this planet.  For further reference, I will call this girl Pit because she is deep as a pit lol.  My other friends and I (there's really only 2 other close friends) can talk about personal business, of course, but Pit and I have a special connection this way.  I think she really gets me and we're both so cynical and happy when we are together so YEAH.  Thats it for today, folks, I hope you have a grrrreat  day.  And no, theres really no point to this post I just wanted to get y'all used to this writing style.  Maybe next time I'l try to integrate some life lesson or whatnot.  Anyway, see ya!

So Not Superwoman

You can give it up now
Please take off the mask
You're not a super hero
In fact, you're made of glass

One small tap
And you crumble to the floor
Yet you still block me out
Like you don't need me anymore

The one thing you need to keep in mind
Is I'm always here for you, rain or shine

Just for Flavor

When people ask me why I want to travel, this is what I can't seem to get them to understand.

Just for Flavor

You may think I'm a wanderer

That I don't have a home 

You may think I roam around

Aimless and alone

But you just don't get it

Can't begin to comprehend

Why I would pack up and leave

To explore what's around the bend

There's so much you're ignoring

Diverse cultures, far off places

And you want to stay home

With the same old washed-out faces

Do something daring

Roll the dice

Step out of the box

Give life some spice!

Swallowed Up in Me

Just because the tears are gone

Doesn't mean I'm not still drowning

The clouds have moved away

But somehow I'm still frowning

Like a child in timeout

I'm stuck waiting

Thinking of a better time

When I won't feel myself fading

Numbness rushes through me

No sound, No feeling, No sight

I ask myself, Who am I?

Can I make it? Will I be alright?

I just need to smash this cage

Shed my burdens, Make myself free

So then I won't be so dull

So swallowed up in me